For the Longest time I have been trying to think of the best content for my very first blog post. Those that know me well, know that I love to write. So to think of a topic was completely daunting. I mean, I want to write about everything...what on earth would I write about for my first post? There is so much inside of me waiting to come out. Because of that I have so many finished, unfinished, or near finished pieces, waiting to be published. I stop myself often from completing the task. I make up excuses. I give myself a million reasons to stop the task or not follow through with it. I'm nervous. Nervous about anyone who might read what I write, and what they might think. I worry too much. But thankfully I have a wonderful friend, who always reminds me of all the things I enjoy about life. She reminds me to keep writing when I forget, or tells me that something I wrote was 'beautiful'. She boosts my confidence. She reminds me not to worry too much, even though she knows its hard not to worry.
I'm gonna be honest with you here....when I was brainstorming this blog, I struggled a bit with my confidence. I reached out to my Dear friend for help. I trusted her judgment with my writing. I trusted her judgement period. So I contacted her to let her know I wanted to write a blog.
"Please help... I need your opinion.. would you read it first before anyone else? Please be honest, I can handle it...Can I send it you?"
I had it ready to go, in an email draft, waiting to be sent. No surprise her response was full of support, encouragement, and love. But she included a question at the end that I have literally been thinking about for months. "What is it going to be about?"
Panic, Fear, Dread all set in. I couldn't answer that. I mean, I have to have a topic right? Something to "preach about" ....don't I? That self doubt crept in, and I stopped myself. I deleted the email and said, well, I will send it to her when it's perfect. I have yet to do that. Because this post is about you Dear Friend. How could I not pay tribute to one of the few who truly has been there for me through some of the brightest and darkest moments in my life. To the person who probably doesn't know how truly remarkable she is to me. To the person who, Through the course of my early teenage and adult years has supported me in every way possible. She befriended me and looked out for me, when I felt I had no one in the world to talk to. But you wanna know the best part about her? Aside from her love and generosity? The best part is that she always asks me good questions. The ones that need to be asked. The questions that stop you in your tracks and get you thinking. Truly thinking about life, and purpose, and all the 'whys?' that life throws at you.
Except this time. With this question. It was simple... So simple. She just wanted to know what my blog was going to be about. I say I'm going to write a blog and I have no idea. Little did she know her question had me stumped. I had some thoughts about what I wanted it to be about. I mean I've even written several post. But they just weren't good enough. So I took some space away. I thought a little. When I saw my Dear Friend the other day, she asked me how my writing was going. And I realized that I really haven't been writing too much lately. An ache took hold in my heart. I missed it. I missed writing. Some times life throws a little chaos at you, and writing lets it flow out of you so you can cope and adjust. Again, my Dear Friend, you asked me a simple question, and you reminded me of that parts of myself I loose in the chaos of everyday life. I am determined to give more back to myself, and to me writing is a good way to do that. So this blog is for me. Its going to be about whatever I want it to be about. And if you know me, you know, I am random.
So this blog is going to contain my writings discussing my trials and tribulations as a wife, mom, caregiver to my complex medical kiddo, daughter, sister, friend, stay at home mom, part time worker, entrepreneur, crafter, and writer. I have a lot to learn in life, and know I have so much to learn still. But I also believe that because of some of the chaos thrown at me in my life, I have a different insight than most. My Dear Friend reminds me of this often. And I would like to share it with you.
So I leave you with this blog world...
Don't stop doing what you love out of fear of criticism. There will always be the critic. If it's for you, who care what anyone thinks (something I'm still learning about). And DO be grateful for the "Dear Friend" in your life. Listen to them. Let them remind you of who you are, and what you love. Let them be there for you on your darkest day, but always share the brightness too. Be there for them like they have been there for you. Shine positivity in their lives like they have in yours. Remind them how much they mean to you. Thank them for all they have done to change the course of your life. Dedicate something in your life to them, learn something from them, grow, change, become better.
Dear Friend, I am better in so many ways because of you. I am lucky our paths crossed, because I see my life being much different now if we never met. And because you always remind me of who I am. I am here today to do the same for you...My Dear Friend, you are Stronger than you believe, more beautiful than you know, and your soul is brighter than a thousand stars, you deserve all the love and happiness that life brings you, and I am lucky to call you my friend. Thank you for your constant encouragement! Love you Lots..
Here goes the most random blog ever.... A little Chaos A LOT of LOVE!
